Friday, October 26, 2012

An exposed or hidden life?

  It was the flashback of Lauren coming to me after a semester of ballet ended and regretfully saying, "I didn't win the free summer class. *insert name here* did. " The downcast look she wore as if to say, I failed, I wanted to come out here and tell you I was the best and make you so very proud. After all, she had won it the previous year, I guess she expected to win, again. Such disappointment to have not measured up this time....and beaten by the same girl....twice. 

   It was also the flashback of her coming to me days later after a festival we had attended & shamefully saying, "the girls were mean to me. They told me to go away. But I don't know why." Why did it take her days to admit this to me? Her mother. 

  Or maybe it was the flashback of her coming out days later and confessing she had been cornered and bullied at a class I had been taking her to. "Mom, the bigger girl kept getting in my face and telling me I was a wicked girl..." she said as tears fell and fell and fell. 

It's true that we praise our children highly and in their innocence they face life in somewhat of a fairy tale idea. "You're so good!" "You won! I knew you would!" "Go mingle and makes friends! They'll love you." 

We pop in Cinderella and they begin to believe it will all end in a fantasy.

But then life becomes real. The picture we painted of who they were and what people would love about them shatters & we see where we really live....a fallen world.

The hard reminders of this breaks our heart.

Don't we all get thrown this hard ball? We find out something that was said behind our back; we find out we weren't invited; we find out we didn't even place; we see other women appearing to do it better; etc, etc....

I have to wrap my head around this and cup Lauren's face & admit, not everyone will like you. Not everyone will treat you kindly even if you treat them kindly. You will not always be the winner. People will be mean. 

And then I remember this quote:

People are often unreasonable, irrational, and self-centered.
Forgive them anyway.
If you are kind, people may accuse you of selfish, ulterior motives.
Be kind anyway.
If you are successful, you will win some unfaithful friends and some genuine enemies.
Succeed anyway.
If you are honest and sincere people may deceive you.
Be honest and sincere anyway.
What you spend years creating, others could destroy overnight.
Create anyway.
If you find serenity and happiness, some may be jealous.
Be happy anyway.
The good you do today, will often be forgotten.
Do good anyway.
Give the best you have, and it will never be enough.
Give your best anyway.
You see, in the final analysis, it is between you and God.
It was never between you and them anyway.
-Mother Teresa.

Does the bible not say, do unto others as you would have them do to you? Only if they return the favor? Or simply.....that's what you do.. 
Does the bible not say the world will hate you because they hate me (Jesus)?
Then why do we teach our children the opposite? Why do we strive for the opposite in our own life?
Why do we get our feelings hurt so easy by others? Why do we strive and push our children for popularity? Why do we teach them to be men pleasers? Is it because that's exactly what we are? We need the friendships of....everyone, to be liked, to be praised, to be applauded? 
I remember when I felt to start blogging again. I searched around the blog world before writing again and became very humbled. Everything I wanted to write about was out there. Mothering, God, homeschooling,etc, etc....not only was it already out there, but it was out there multiple times. I could hardly even conjure up a new post...I would hear that silent whisper, "it's already been written about. . .and more eloquent at that." Who was I but another speck in the blog sphere. I saw how small I was in light of how important I rated my thoughts. Bummer. Another hard ball of life. 
God whispers, " was never between you and them anyways."
It's always about pleasing Him.
And so, I have to teach Lauren while I learn this too;
It is good to become small, humble, & hidden.
Our life is not meant to be continually at the top with big ratings it is meant for the small, humble, weak, poor, broken, and hidden things.....
I tell Lauren, it is good, very good to have not won a free summer class, I am happier she  loves to dance. Isn't she dancing for her King anyways? Maybe this other little girl was better? So what? People will be better than you at things you love. Do it anyways.
I tell Lauren that it's okay the little girls were mean, our measure of worth cannot be left in the hands of such small, innocent people. Through that she will learn that God will never forsake her & understand what it means to be held by Him. Others do have a way of making us feel about two feet, don't they? I explained to her that she was so occupied and striving so hard to keep up with this bigger group of girls that night, that she missed a couple very quiet girls that were alone most the evening. Sometimes God needs us to stop & look. Maybe He has something better, something real. 
The bully? Lauren didn't know her name. All she remembers is that this girl was bigger and wore blue socks that day. In our faithful night time prayers she is known as, 'blue socks.' A year and a half later we still pray for her...who knows, maybe Lauren will see her again someday when they're older and see how God was faithful to "blue socks" through her faithful prayers. 
"The fishes of the sea live in salt water, yet when we eat boiled fish there is no salt taste in the water in which they have been boiled. They live in an atmosphere impregnated by salt, yet they have kept free it's flavor. So do Christians live in the world, without taking it into their hearts."
-His Victorious Indwelling. 


  1. Please, by all means continue blogging. You have made me think and reconsider my inclinations numerous times. I appreciate the things you share so much!

    This topic was so sad, yet what a great reminder.


    1. Deanne, I appreciate you too for so many reasons. Thank you for taking time in your busy days to read my thoughts. It warms me.

      I hope you and the babies are all doing well.



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