Saturday, May 29, 2010
Learning to live
As I look over the past four years of being a mother I'm not sure I'm pleased with certain aspiring goals I've achieved in my home. I have learned that most selfish goals will always come with a price. My work in home has been geared towards creating the perfect home. But not 'perfection' in the bonds & ties of my family or hours spent merely loving them. Perfection in creating the right atmosphere, preparing the healthiest meals I can (when I can), feeding lauren's hungry mind with whatever I'm able to teach her in any given moment, staying on top of the finances, keeping the cabinets and fridge full, etc. But what I am learning this year may surprise you. I am learning to live. I am learning that it's ok to leave toys out. I am learning that my kids are not extra messes, they are helping hands. I am learning that though I have 10 things I want to do before I lay down at night, it's more rewarding to sit down and read that book to Lauren. I am learning that I don't have to rush from one chore to the next and count it as an extra chore to keep Liberty occupied, that's it's ok to finish one accomplishment and lay & play in the floor with her. My point is that I'm learning to show them love. Do they enjoy having supper on the table? Of course. Do they enjoy having plent of snacks to choose from and the satisfaction of knowing mommys working hard to keep them healthy? I know they do. Are they content not living like slobs but having a clean environment? Most definitely. But does these things fill the longing to be loved? Not at this age, i'm afraid. They need that time...the actions that show them they are important...worth stopping for...and this is what I am learning. To truly live.