Tuesday, May 29, 2012

Secret Life.


   Afternoon friends and family, let me, once again, blow the dust off this ol' place and get-er cranked up again. Awhile back I had mentioned how I was discouraged having so many 'topics' run through my head through out a day, that when I finally made time to pull up my blog--I sat there blank. This lead me to the reasoning that maybe my blogging days needed to end for awhile. I really did not expect anyone to be terribly upset about this thought, except myself I suppose, but my sweet husband had read that particular post (yes ladies! without me asking him! *swooning*) and earnestly asked that I not delete my blog. He even went as far as to suggest that I keep a note pad laying around the house solely for the purpose of writing down "blog thoughts" when they came. I smiled at his sincerity and treasured him even more for simply caring. It hasn't been till the past couple weeks that I have taken up his suggestion and kept a note pad open titled, 'blog thoughts.' So, in between dishes, poopy bottoms, a loud walking washing machine, pans boiling over, a baby that pulls tall standing plant stands over, a baby that can reach big and dump a  coffee cup, and all the other real life adventures a day can hold, you'll find me hearing 'God thoughts' in the "chaos" and grabbing a pen and scribbling a topic down on my little note pad. So, when a post is few and far between, know that I have not given up my love of sharing, I am only getting ready for the big one. *smiles*

  The post before my last I had written about drawing from the Lord (I think). How it is vital, and how we, in ourselves, fall so very short in our call to serve 24/7. I remember saying, 'God fill my cup...' even if that's all we can muster in the hustle and bustle of our day. I'd like to continue on this topic and write an extension of it. God had been putting the parable of the sower on my heart awhile back. I was intrigued by the idea of people & their heart and how they accepted God's word. I actually became fascinated with this. I wanted to know how it pertained to witnessing to people, etc. Over the months, I moved on from that topic and began reading elsewhere in His word. But last week God brought it all around again, except on a personal level to which He is an expert at. Somewhere on facebook, I cannot remember for the life of me where or who wrote it, I read a post of someone writing about this particular verse which is taken from the parable of the sower; 'Some fell upon stony places, where they had not much earth: and forthwith they sprung up, because they had no deepness of earth: and when the sun was up they were scorched; and because they had no root, they withered away.  Matthew 13:4-5.' The post went on to say that we'll see many people who look like they have it going on! Good works, good family, good everything! They confess with their mouth his praises....but there is no earth. There is no depth. Stony places. The sun scorches them and they wither away. They cannot handle when harsh winds blow, when the heat is unbearable, when exciting things die down, and though they may have sprung for a time, they fade away. Where do we find deepness of earth? Where do we find deep, deep roots? In that most secret part of our lives that no one but God sees; where we're either spent for the world and ourselves or attached to the vine, who is our root. The part of our life where men do not see our works, our family is hidden, even our husbands are not around to observe our walk. This is where we'll find deepness of earth. This is where we'll have hard choices to make---this is the part of our walk with God that determines if we're scorched and withering away when things get hot and have lost their appeal. This is the part of our life where we lay it all at His feet & He knows our heart of hearts, the inward parts. The secret part of our life. The unseen. The part of our life where our authenticity towards Christ has to be proven to ourselves.

I am learning that it is not only a "good" part of our spiritual routine to make time for God--it is the only way we begin to let Him know us.  'For many will say in that day, Lord, Lord and He will say, depart from me ye worker of iniquity, I knew you not.' When I make time in the mornings to go in my closet and kneel before the Lord, in that dark, small space (candle lit), it is saying He is above all. Above my duties here in the home, my worries, my wants, my sleep, my pleasures, He is first. In this time I draw from Him, I check, before I start the day (sometimes it has already begun before I make it to kneel before Him) if I am connected to the vine. If not--I am lifeless that day and will continue to be giving second best to my family until I reconnect to that vine. If I make time for Him first, in the secret part of my life, I will be giving my family and those around me my very best, and grace towards them will not run dry. For deepness of earth, dig deep for rich soil in that dark, hidden part of your life where only God knows you. Here a garden will begin to grow--the washing of His Word, the watering of our tears, the cries of our hearts (that He already knows), the well of grace we drink from until we leave overflowing for others to drink.

"It is better to have come from the Lord, then to go to the Lord."

  Now sometimes during these times with the Lord I know I have connected. I have felt my spirit stirred, cleansed and I have felt life flow from that vine. But be prepared for times when you make time for this and your blank, your mind will not stop and you walk away feeling unconnected. My advice? Do it again, anyways! Do not stop. Get in the habit of making Him first no matter what. The times that you connect, gain, and are cleansed are well worth the times it seems pointless. Remember, your hidden life, is your life. This is where earth becomes deep, rich soil, where you cannot be uprooted, where you are transformed. Thus, where our life is 'hid' in Christ. Goodbye stony places.

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